13th MALAYSIAN GENERAL ELECTION

1955 - New chapter for Malaya

A three-party coalition called the Alliance - comprising the United Malay National Organisation (Umno), the Malayan Chinese Association (MCA) and the Malayan Indian Congress (MIC) - swept 51 of 52 parliamentary seats in the country's first elections.

This elections cemented the coalition, who agreed for Umno president Tunku Abdul Rahman to be appointed Chief Minister of Malaya. Tunku would lead the Alliance to victory in the next three general elections.

The 1955 elections marked the move towards Independence. The British relinquished their power and, in 1957, the Federation of Malaya gained complete independence from Britain.

The elections saw the rejection of opposition parties such as Party Negara led by former Umno president Datuk Onn Jaafar, the socialist-based Labour Party, People's Progressive Party and other minor groups.

 1959 – Birth of an elected nation

This general election was the first to be held under the supervision of the Election Commission formed in 1958.

Tunku Abdul Rahman wanted to concentrate on the federal and state elections and so relinquished his post as Prime Minister. Tun Abdul Razak Hussein was sworn in to replace him.

Tunku resumed as premier with Razak returning to his deputy's post after the Alliance won 74 out of the 104 parliamentary seats contested by a total of 259 candidates, including 29 Independents.

1964 - Nation reborn as Malaysia

The polls saw MCA playing a vital role in placating the Chinese with regard to Malay special rights and fear of a merger with Indonesia, resulting in the party being viewed as the voice of the nation's Chinese community.

The previous year, Tunku had convinced Singapore, Sabah, and Sarawak to join Malaya in the federal union known as Malaysia. Singapore would leave the federation in 1965.

This period also saw the creation of two political parties - the Democratic Action Party (DAP) on March 18, 1966, and Gerakan on March 24, 1968.

It was during this elections that Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad was elected as Member of Parliament for Kubang Pasu.

1969 - Tension and friction

This election remains the single most marred election in Malaysia's history. It saw the darkest hour of the nation, when riots broke out after the Alliance was pronounced the victor without a two-thirds majority. The Government declared a state of emergency, suspending the Constitution and Parliament until February 1971. The National Operations Council (NOC) and a caretaker Cabinet then governed the nation.

The polls saw Dr Mahathir losing his parliamentary seat and expelled from the party for having attacked Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman in an open letter for allegedly neglecting the indigenous Malay community.

Penang fell to then-opposition party Gerakan, which won 16 out of the 24 state assembly seats. Later on, the Alliance and Gerakan formed a coalition government in Penang.

After the May 13 riots, the political leaders tried to build national unity.

They amended the Constitution to forbid discussion, even in Parliament, of certain "sensitive issues", including the special position of the Malays, Borneo's ethnic groups, and the powers of the Malay Sultans.

Determined to improve the economic condition of the Malays, the leaders also launched a 20-year plan called the New Economic Policy. It was meant to achieve better wealth balance among the races.

In September 1970, Tunku Abdul Rahman stepped down and Tun Abdul Razak succeeded him.

 1974 - Time of youthful change

Under Prime Minister Tun Abdul Razak, national-level experiments on social and economic re-engineering were carried out to address existing imbalances.

To minimise racial politics, the Government created a multi-party alliance called Barisan Nasional using a weighing scale symbol instead of the Alliance's sailboat.

BN was then made up of Umno, MCA, MIC, PAS, PPP, Gerakan, Sarawak United People's Party (SUPP), Parti Pesaka Bumiputera, and the Sabah Alliance Party.

Only DAP and Parti Sosialis Rakyat Malaysia (PSRM) refused to join the coalition.

After a landslide victory, Razak announced the first Barisan cabinet of 21 members.

Dr Mahathir, who had been in the political wilderness after expulsion from Umno, was invited back into the party, re-elected to Parliament and appointed Education Minister.

In 1976, 22-year-old Najib Tun Razak became the youngest candidate to win the Pekan, Pahang, parliamentary seat. He was uncontested in the by-election held following his father's death.

Tun Hussein Onn became the nation's third prime minister.

1978 – The Hussein Onn era

BN won once again. However, PAS was wiped out in Kelantan during the elections and later expelled from Barisan. BN would rule Kelantan until 1990.

On July 15, 1981, Hussein chaired his last cabinet meeting. The next day Dr Mahathir was sworn in as Malaysia's fourth prime minister. He announced his new cabinet two days later, naming Tun Musa Hitam as his deputy.

 

 1982 – Dr Mahathir in the saddle

When Dr Mahathir Mohamad took over as Prime Minister, he advocated the Look East Policy for Malaysia to beef up work ethics and achieve economic success.

The elections was held before the nation faced the brunt of the global economic downturn that affected Malaysia.

Dr Mahathir also sought to stamp his mark by replacing veterans with a younger set of Umno leaders.

Among those brought in was Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim who joined Umno prior to the elections and won the Permatang Pauh parliamentary seat under Barisan Nasional.

Dr Mahathir who defeated PAS' Yusof Rawa Abdullah for the Kubang Pasu parliamentary seat led Barisan to a resounding victory in the general election.

During this parliamentary term, he also pushed for Malaysia's first car, Proton, and pursued the policy of privatising government enterprises.

 1986 – Dr M tightens grip

Despite the resignation of Musa Hitam as deputy prime minister and Home Minister, Dr Mahathir Mohamad steered BN to a resounding victory.

Dr Mahathir replaced Musa with Tun Ghafar Baba as deputy while Musa was persuaded to stay on as Umno deputy president.

In the Umno elections, Dr Mahathir defeated Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah for the presidency while Ghafar Baba beat Musa to be deputy.

This led to a party crisis, with Razaleigh and Datuk Seri Rais Yatim resigning from the Mahathir Cabinet.

In February 1988, the Kuala Lumpur High Court ruled that Umno was illegal following a suit by 11 Umno members aligned to Razaleigh.

Dr Mahathir then founded Umno Baru that was quickly accepted into the Barisan fold.

A year later, Tengku Razaleigh founded a breakaway party called Parti Melayu Semangat 46, with Rais as his deputy.

1990 – Dramatic liaisons

The seventh general election saw the Opposition coming close to denying BN a two-thirds majority by winning 53 seats, and their best performance since 1969.

Umno splinter group Semangat 46 presented a challenge to BN by forming electoral alliances among opposition parties.

Semangat 46 teamed up with PAS, Barisan Jemaah Islamiah Se-Malaysia (Berjasa) and Parti Hizbul Muslimin Malaysia to form Angkatan Perpaduan Ummah (APU). Semangat 46 also teamed up with DAP to form Gagasan Rakyat.

A week before the elections, Parti Bersatu Sabah pulled out of BN and joined Gagasan Rakyat.

Dr Mahathir described it as "a stab in the back" because the decision was made at almost the eleventh hour after nominations, damaging BN's chances in the elections.

He ordered Umno to make an entry into Sabah, and this decision changed the politics of Sabah, with Usno dissolved to make way for Umno.

Although PBS eventually contributed 14 parliamentary seats from Sabah to Gagasan Rakyat, the loose coalition failed to make an impact in the peninsula.

With a Barisan victory in hand, Dr Mahathir saw no opposition to his position in Umno.

In 1992, Ghafar resigned as deputy prime minister and Anwar, who had won the Umno deputy presidency, took over from Ghafar.

 1995 – A record mandate and Reformasi

This general election was an excellent year for Barisan Nasional, which won 162 of the 192 seats.

The economic boom, an average 8% growth per annum, record investment levels and full employment boosted BN's fortunes.

Dr Mahathir announced a new goal called Vision 2020, intending to make Malaysia a fully-developed nation with a high standard of living by 2020.

The goal suffered a setback, however, when an economic crisis hit South-East Asia in 1997. By 1998, the growth of Malaysia's economy had slowed but the country took measures to put its economy back on track.

After weeks of rumours of a split between Dr Mahathir and his deputy over the handling of the financial crisis, Anwar was sacked on Sept 2, 1998.

Besides being detained under the Internal Security Act, Anwar was also charged in court with sodomy and corruption.

This episode led to the formation of Parti Keadilan Nasional by Anwar's wife, Datuk Seri Dr. Wan Azizah Wan Ismail.

March 21, 2004 – Abdullah's wind of change

Abdullah Badawi marched the nation to the polls barely four months after taking over from Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

The new leadership's message of change with greater civil liberties drew support, giving Barisan a record win and the largest majority since 1978.

While highlighting Barisan's past record of providing stability, Abdullah effectively appealed to voters by promising to correct weaknesses to make its record even better.

Barisan regained Terengganu, which it lost to PAS in 1999. In Kelantan, PAS only had a two-seat majority (which was reduced to one after a subsequent by-election). PAS' presence in Kedah was drastically reduced.

DAP lost Kota Melaka, its bastion in Malacca. Allegations of infighting made the rounds. There was some consolation for the party though as their top leaders Lim Kit Siang and Karpal Singh managed to get back into Parliament.

Keadilan had merged with PRM prior to the elections, and formed Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR). However,  PKR was almost decimated in the elections. Dr Wan Azizah managed to retain Permatang Pauh in Penang for the party's sole parliamentary seat.

2008 - BN loses its two-thirds majority

Seeking a fresh mandate 15 months before the end of his five-year term, Abdullah took a gamble that cost him his job.

The states of Selangor, Penang, Kedah, and Perak also slipped out of BN's hands, and it failed to wrest Kelantan from PAS. However, Perak returned to Barisan following the defection of several Pakatan Rakyat assembly members in 2009.

2008 saw the only elections besides the one in 1969 where Barisan Nasional lost its two-thirds majority in Parliament.

Abdullah subsequently stepped down and handed over the premiership to Datuk Seri Najib Abdul Razak on April 3, 2009.

ORIGINAL POSTING ~ THE STAR

Chua should resign over his unsavvy comments

January 2, 2013
FMT LETTER: From Stephen Ng, via e-mail







MCA president, Chua Soi Lek, is a man lacking in credibility as a leader, and should not have been elected in the first place to lead the Chinese party in Malaysia. He recently blamed pro-Umno bloggers for publishing remarks he made against former president Ong Tee Keat.

Instead of blaming it on others, he should reflect on his own character to see if he is suitable to lead the BN component party. If he did not mean what he said, he should not have said it during the meeting with pro-Umno bloggers.

As a supposedly political savvy man, he should realise who he was speaking to, unless he is telling us that he is so “green” in handling the bloggers. In short, there is a saying, “No point crying over spilt milk.”

Like journalists, these are no ordinary people who would take such admonishments, as “Please do not publish my remarks”. If there is a scoop, they would not hesitate to use it; otherwise, who would read a dry piece of interview article?

As a public person, Chua should realise that his own reputation as a leader and president of MCA is important. Whatever he said about Ong Tee Keat in private will be published publicly, and this would of course attract the former MCA president to react. This is the Law of the Universe: Action and Reaction. I am sure Chua knows this, doesn’t he?

As an observer, I would like to suggest to Chua to withdraw himself as the president of MCA, given that the entire episode of his extramarital affairs had been exposed and this has cost him and the MCA a lot of goodwill.

Although he is now the elected president of the party, I believe the majority of the Chinese community, especially the professionals, would prefer him not to further tarnish the good reputation of the Chinese community in this country, who seek to be good citizens.

Chua should take the cue from former US president, Bill Clinton, and many others, not to return to the public arena after his extra-marital affairs was exposed. To safeguard his own reputation and the sanctity of public offices, till today, Clinton has never sought to campaign for any public office or remained as president of his own party.

Chua should choose the honourable path by resigning as party president, if he wants MCA to be relevant to the Chinese community in this country. I respected his decision to resign all posts when the affairs was first exposed, but then, he should not have made a comeback in a power struggle in MCA.

Although this may be my personal opinion, I believe a number of other people reading this letter would also agree with me, that for too long, the Chinese community in this country has not seen a leader who truly represents their voices.

In fact, what we need is not a political leader based on race, but a prime minister who has proven himself over the years that he has the tenacity to face all sorts of challenges posed to him and his family. It is time now, or never.

Truly, if MCA lost badly in the next general election, Chua has no one to blame but himself for taking on the helm of the party when there could be others more credible than him to take over leadership of MCA. It should keep to its vows not to field its candidates in the cabinet, because the party has already lost grounds with the Chinese in this country.

As we are moving forward in our way of thinking, the party is too entrenched with its New Village mentality. Unless MCA is prepared for the change, it would become archaic, and irrelevant to an increasingly politically-aware nation.

The former Health minister can still gripe over being served coffee in a polystyrene cup after an official event he attended during his early months as Minister of Health, but if he continues to lead the MCA today, I have my reservations about the future of MCA in this country.

ORIGINAL POST : FreeMalaysiaToday

Child Abuse and Neglect

Recognizing and Preventing Child Abuse

Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lasting scars. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal and break the cycle—rather than perpetuating it. By learning about common signs of abuse and what you can do to intervene, you can make a huge difference in a child’s life.
 

In This Article:

• Understanding child abuse
• Effects of child abuse
• Types of child abuse

Child abuse is more than bruises or broken bones. While physical abuse is shocking due to the scars it leaves, not all child abuse is as obvious. Ignoring children’s needs, putting them in unsupervised, dangerous situations, or making a child feel worthless or stupid are also child abuse. Regardless of the type of child abuse, the result is serious emotional harm.

Myths and facts about child abuse and neglect

MYTH #1: It's only abuse if it's violent.

Fact: Physical abuse is just one type of child abuse. Neglect and emotional abuse can be just as damaging, and since they are more subtle, others are less likely to intervene.

MYTH #2: Only bad people abuse their children.

Fact: While it's easy to say that only "bad people" abuse their children, it's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with mental health issues or a substance abuse problem.

MYTH #3: Child abuse doesn't happen in “good” families.

Fact: Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.

MYTH #4: Most child abusers are strangers.

Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family.

MYTH #5: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.

Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.
Effects of child abuse and neglect

All types of child abuse and neglect leave lasting scars. Some of these scars might be physical, but emotional scarring has long lasting effects throughout life, damaging a child’s sense of self, ability to have healthy relationships, and ability to function at home, at work and at school. Some effects include:

Lack of trust and relationship difficulties. If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust? Abuse by a primary caregiver damages the most fundamental relationship as a child—that you will safely, reliably get your physical and emotional needs met by the person who is responsible for your care. Without this base, it is very difficult to learn to trust people or know who is trustworthy. This can lead to difficulty maintaining relationships due to fear of being controlled or abused. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships because the adult doesn’t know what a good relationship is.

Core feelings of being “worthless” or “damaged.” If you’ve been told over and over again as a child that you are stupid or no good, it is very difficult to overcome these core feelings. You may experience them as reality. Adults may not strive for more education, or settle for a job that may not pay enough, because they don’t believe they can do it or are worth more. Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse, often especially struggle with a feeling of being damaged.

Trouble regulating emotions. Abused children cannot express emotions safely. As a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in unexpected ways. Adult survivors of child abuse can struggle with unexplained anxiety, depression, or anger. They may turn to alcohol or drugs to numb out the painful feelings.

Types of child abuse
There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child. Children need predictability, structure, clear boundaries, and the knowledge that their parents are looking out for their safety. Abused children cannot predict how their parents will act. Their world is an unpredictable, frightening place with no rules. Whether the abuse is a slap, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table tonight, the end result is a child that feel unsafe, uncared for, and alone.
Emotional child abuse

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? Contrary to this old saying, emotional abuse can severely damage a child’s mental health or social development, leaving lifelong psychological scars. Examples of emotional child abuse include:

• Constant belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child.
• Calling names and making negative comparisons to others.
• Telling a child he or she is “no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake."
• Frequent yelling, threatening, or bullying.
• Ignoring or rejecting a child as punishment, giving him or her the silent treatment.
• Limited physical contact with the child—no hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection.
• Exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others, whether it be the abuse of a parent, a sibling, or even a pet.

Child neglect

Child neglect—a very common type of child abuse—is a pattern of failing to provide for a child's basic needs, whether it be adequate food, clothing, hygiene, or supervision. Child neglect is not always easy to spot. Sometimes, a parent might become physically or mentally unable to care for a child, such as with a serious injury, untreated depression, or anxiety. Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe.

Older children might not show outward signs of neglect, becoming used to presenting a competent face to the outside world, and even taking on the role of the parent. But at the end of the day, neglected children are not getting their physical and emotional needs met.
Physical child abuse

Physical child abuse

Physical abuse involves physical harm or injury to the child. It may be the result of a deliberate attempt to hurt the child, but not always. It can also result from severe discipline, such as using a belt on a child, or physical punishment that is inappropriate to the child’s age or physical condition.

Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline—ways to make children learn to behave. But there is a big difference between using physical punishment to discipline and physical abuse. The point of disciplining children is to teach them right from wrong, not to make them live in fear.
Physical abuse vs. Discipline

In physical abuse, unlike physical forms of discipline, the following elements are present:

Unpredictability. The child never knows what is going to set the parent off. There are no clear boundaries or rules. The child is constantly walking on eggshells, never sure what behavior will trigger a physical assault.

Lashing out in anger. Physically abusive parents act out of anger and the desire to assert control, not the motivation to lovingly teach the child. The angrier the parent, the more intense the abuse.

Using fear to control behavior. Parents who are physically abusive may believe that their children need to fear them in order to behave, so they use physical abuse to “keep their child in line.” However, what children are really learning is how to avoid being hit, not how to behave or grow as individuals.

Child sexual abuse is an especially complicated form of abuse because of its layers of guilt and shame. It's important to recognize that sexual abuse doesn't always involve body contact. Exposing a child to sexual situations or material is sexually abusive, whether or not touching is involved.

While news stories of sexual predators are scary, what is even more frightening is that sexual abuse usually occurs at the hands of someone the child knows and should be able to trust—most often close relatives. And contrary to what many believe, it’s not just girls who are at risk. Boys and girls both suffer from sexual abuse. In fact, sexual abuse of boys may be under reported due to shame and stigma.
 

The problem of shame and guilt in child sexual abuse

Aside from the physical damage that sexual abuse can cause, the emotional component is powerful and far-reaching. Sexually abused children are tormented by shame and guilt. They may feel that they are responsible for the abuse or somehow brought it upon themselves. This can lead to self-loathing and sexual problems as they grow older—often either excessive promiscuity or an inability to have intimate relations.

The shame of sexual abuse makes it very difficult for children to come forward. They may worry that others won’t believe them, will be angry with them, or that it will split their family apart. Because of these difficulties, false accusations of sexual abuse are not common, so if a child confides in you, take him or her seriously. Don’t turn a blind eye!

Warning signs of child abuse and neglect

Warning signs of child abuse and neglect 

The earlier child abuse is caught, the better the chance of recovery and appropriate treatment for the child. Child abuse is not always obvious. By learning some of the common warning signs of child abuse and neglect, you can catch the problem as early as possible and get both the child and the abuser the help that they need.

Of course, just because you see a warning sign doesn’t automatically mean a child is being abused. It’s important to dig deeper, looking for a pattern of abusive behavior and warning signs, if you notice something off.

Warning signs of emotional abuse in children

• Excessively withdrawn, fearful, or anxious about doing something wrong.
• Shows extremes in behavior (extremely compliant or extremely demanding; extremely passive or extremely aggressive).
• Doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver.
• Acts either inappropriately adult (taking care of other children) or inappropriately infantile (rocking, thumb-sucking, throwing tantrums).

Warning signs of physical abuse in children

• Frequent injuries or unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts.
• Is always watchful and “on alert,” as if waiting for something bad to happen.
• Injuries appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt.
• Shies away from touch, flinches at sudden movements, or seems afraid to go home.
• Wears inappropriate clothing to cover up injuries, such as long-sleeved shirts on hot days.

Warning signs of neglect in children

• Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather.
• Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair, noticeable body odor).
• Untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
• Is frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and environments.
• Is frequently late or missing from school.

Warning signs of sexual abuse in children

• Trouble walking or sitting.
• Displays knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior.
• Makes strong efforts to avoid a specific person, without an obvious reason.
• Doesn’t want to change clothes in front of others or participate in physical activities.
• An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14.
• Runs away from home.

Child abuse and reactive attachment disorder
Severe abuse early in life can lead to reactive attachment disorder. Children with this disorder are so disrupted that they have extreme difficulty establishing normal relationships and attaining normal developmental milestones. They need special treatment and support. Learn more
Risk factors for child abuse and neglect

While child abuse and neglect occurs in all types of families—even in those that look happy from the outside—children are at a much greater risk in certain situations.
   
Domestic violence. Witnessing domestic violence is terrifying to children and emotionally abusive. Even if the mother does her best to protect her children and keeps them from being physically abused, the situation is still extremely damaging. If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationships, getting out is the best thing for protecting the children.
   
Alcohol and drug abuse. Living with an alcoholic or addict is very difficult for children and can easily lead to abuse and neglect. Parents who are drunk or high are unable to care for their children, make good parenting decisions, and control often-dangerous impulses. Substance abuse also commonly leads to physical abuse.
   
Untreated mental illness. Parents who suffering from depression, an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or another mental illness have trouble taking care of themselves, much less their children. A mentally ill or traumatized parent may be distant and withdrawn from his or her children, or quick to anger without understanding why. Treatment for the caregiver means better care for the children.
   
Lack of parenting skills. Some caregivers never learned the skills necessary for good parenting. Teen parents, for example, might have unrealistic expectations about how much care babies and small children need. Or parents who were themselves victims of child abuse may only know how to raise their children the way they were raised. In such cases, parenting classes, therapy, and caregiver support groups are great resources for learning better parenting skills.
   
Stress and lack of support. Parenting can be a very time-intensive, difficult job, especially if you’re raising children without support from family, friends, or the community or you’re dealing with relationship problems or financial difficulties. Caring for a child with a disability, special needs, or difficult behaviors is also a challenge. It’s important to get the support you need, so you are emotionally and physically able to support your child.

Recognizing abusive behavior in yourself
If you need professional help...

Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Find support and resources in your community that can help you break the cycle of abuse.

Do you see yourself in some of these descriptions, painful as it may be? Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Raising children is one of life’s greatest challenges and can trigger anger and frustration in the most even tempered. If you grew up in a household where screaming and shouting or violence was the norm, you may not know any other way to raise your kids.

Recognizing that you have a problem is the biggest step to getting help. If you yourself were raised in an abusive situation, that can be extremely difficult. Children experience their world as normal. It may have been normal in your family to be slapped or pushed for little to no reason, or that mother was too drunk to cook dinner. It may have been normal for your parents to call you stupid, clumsy, or worthless. Or it may have been normal to watch your mother get beaten up by your father.

It is only as adults that we have the perspective to step back and take a hard look at what is normal and what is abusive. Read the above sections on the types of abuse and warning signs. Do any of those ring a bell for you now? Or from when you were a child? The following is a list of warning signs that you may be crossing the line into abuse:
How do you know when you’ve crossed the line?
   
You can’t stop the anger. What starts as a swat on the backside may turn into multiple hits getting harder and harder. You may shake your child harder and harder and finally throw him or her down. You find yourself screaming louder and louder and can’t stop yourself.
   
You feel emotionally disconnected from your child. You may feel so overwhelmed that you don’t want anything to do with your child. Day after day, you just want to be left alone and for your child to be quiet.
   
Meeting the daily needs of your child seems impossible. While everyone struggles with balancing dressing, feeding, and getting kids to school or other activities, if you continually can’t manage to do it, it’s a sign that something might be wrong.
   
Other people have expressed concern. It may be easy to bristle at other people expressing concern. However, consider carefully what they have to say. Are the words coming from someone you normally respect and trust? Denial is not an uncommon reaction.

Breaking the cycle of child abuse

If you have a history of child abuse, having your own children can trigger strong memories and feelings that you may have repressed. This may happen when a child is born, or at later ages when you remember specific abuse to you. You may be shocked and overwhelmed by your anger, and feel like you can’t control it. But you can learn new ways to manage your emotions and break your old patterns.

Remember, you are the most important person in your child’s world. It’s worth the effort to make a change, and you don’t have to go it alone. Help and support are available.
Tips for changing your reactions
  
Learn what is age appropriate and what is not. Having realistic expectations of what children can handle at certain ages will help you avoid frustration and anger at normal child behavior. For example, newborns are not going to sleep through the night without a peep, and toddlers are not going to be able to sit quietly for extended periods of time.
   
Develop new parenting skills. While learning to control your emotions is critical, you also need a game plan of what you are going to do instead. Start by learning appropriate discipline techniques and how to set clear boundaries for your children. Parenting classes, books, and seminars are a way to get this information. You can also turn to other parents for tips and advice.
   
Take care of yourself. If you are not getting enough rest and support or you’re feeling overwhelmed, you are much more likely to succumb to anger. Sleep deprivation, common in parents of young children, adds to moodiness and irritability—exactly what you are trying to avoid.
   
Get professional help. Breaking the cycle of abuse can be very difficult if the patterns are strongly entrenched. If you can’t seem to stop yourself no matter how hard you try, it’s time to get help, be it therapy, parenting classes, or other interventions. Your children will thank you for it.
   
Learn how you can get your emotions under control. The first step to getting your emotions under control is realizing that they are there. If you were abused as a child, you may have an especially difficult time getting in touch with your range of emotions. You may have had to deny or repress them as a child, and now they spill out without your control.

Helping an abused or neglected child

What should you do if you suspect that a child has been abused? How do you approach him or her? Or what if a child comes to you? It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed and confused in this situation. Child abuse is a difficult subject that can be hard to accept and even harder to talk about.

Just remember, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of an abused child, especially if you take steps to stop the abuse early. When talking with an abused child, the best thing you can provide is calm reassurance and unconditional support. Let your actions speak for you if you’re having trouble finding the words. Remember that talking about the abuse may be very difficult for the child. It’s your job to reassure the child and provide whatever help you can.
Tips for talking to an abused child
   
Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.
   
Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his or her own words what happened, but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions. This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.
   
Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong. It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse. Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and that it is not the child’s fault.
   
Safety comes first. If you feel that your safety or the safety of the child would be threatened if you try to intervene, leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.

Reporting child abuse and neglect

If you suspect a child is being abused, it’s critical to get them the help he or she needs. Reporting child abuse seems so official. Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families’ lives.

Understanding some of the myths behind reporting may help put your mind at ease if you need to report child abuse

I don’t want to interfere in someone else’s family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.
   
What if I break up someone’s home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home - unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.
   
They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.
   
It won’t make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don’t see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.

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Jayakan Transformasi Najib, kata Tee Keat

Mychannel13.com

April 01 2012 06:46 AM

KUALA LUMPUR : Perdana Menteri Datuk Seri Najib Razak harus memastikan siri program transformasi yang diperkenalkan oleh beliau benar- benar didokong bukan sahaja oleh rakyat tetapi juga oleh jemaah menteri dan jentera Barisan Nasional demi memacu negara ke depan,  kata bekas Presiden MCA, Datuk Seri Ong Tee Keat.
Mantan Menteri Pengangkutan itu menegaskan penerimaan akar umbi dan pimpinan tertinggi kerajaan penting untuk memastikan segala pembaharuan yang mahu dilaksanakan oleh Najib berjaya dan tidak disabotaj sehingga menjejaskan peluang BN pada Pilihan Raya Umum (PRU) akan datang.

"Kita tak mahu orang hanya bersungguh- sungguh di depan Najib, tapi dibelakang mereka tidak melaksanakan misi perubahan. Saya pernah mengalami situasi ini. (Adalah) lebih teruk (jika) disabotaj oleh orang sendiri," katanya.

Tee Keat menerajui MCA, parti komponen kedua terbesar dalam BN ketika parti itu berdepan dengan krisis kepimpinan membabitkan Datuk Chua Soi Lek.

Belum cukup setahun memegang jawatan itu, Ong terpaksa berundur apabila tewas tipis dalam undi tidak percaya yang dibentangkan pada Mesyuarat Agung Luar Biasa (EGM), MCA pada Oktober 2009. Beliau terpaksa memberi laluan kepada Chua.   

Tee Keat yang dikenali sebagai pemimpin tegas dan bersih,  berkata siri pembaharuan yang mulakan oleh Najib terpaksa mengharungi pelbagai kekangan dan bantahan, khususnya daripada seteru politik yang menangguk di air keruh.

Apa pun,  Najib harus mengelak berulangnya situasi yang menyaksikan Tun Abdullah Ahmad Badawi tidak mendapat sokongan jentera pentadbiran sehingga BN hilang majoriti dua pertiga di Parlimen pada pilihanraya umum 2008.

Selain itu, pembangkang turut menawan Selangor, Pulau Pinang, Kedah dan Perak selain mengekalkan Kelantan. Perak bagaimanapun kembali ke tangan BN apabila tiga Adun pembangkang meninggalkan pakatan itu.

"Pada zaman Pak Lah, BN pernah menang besar pada 2004 dan kemenangan itu yang terbesar dalam sejarah politik negara. Tapi malangnya pada tahun berikutnya, apa yang dijanjikan tidak dapat dikotakan disebabkan sebab- sebab tertentu. Jadi bagi saya, perkara itu telah berlaku dan kita patut jadikan ia sebagai ikhtibar," ujarnya dalam temubual eksklusif dengan Mychannel13.com

Mengulas mengenai sokongan kaum Cina terhadap BN yang menurun dengan mendadak pada PRU lalu,  Tee Keat yakin keadaan itu bersifat sementara.

BN mampu meraih semula sokongan itu tetapi harus melipat gandakan usahanya turun padang secara berterusan dan bukannya bermusim, ujar Ong yang masih menjadi Ahli Parlimen Pandan Jaya.

Ong menafikan persepsi kononnya pengundi Cina kini penyokong tegar pembangkang. Beliau merujuk kepada keputusan pilihanranraya pada tahun 1995, 1999 dan 2004 sebagai bukti BN masih mampu memperolehi sokongan masyarakat itu.   

"Kalau 3 penggal berturut-  turut masyarakat Cina bagi mandat pada BN begitu meyakinkan, saya rasa sokongan itu bukan bersifat kadang kala,"
Wacana Sinar Siri 11 - Mengapa Undi Melayu Pecah?

Tee Keat berkata sokongan pengundi Cina kepada pembangkang pada pilihanraya 2008 berpunca daripada kegagalan BN mengotakan janji-janji oleh kepimpinan lalu.

"Apa yang kita harapkan sangat (tidak kira apa kaum), bila berjanji kita harapkan ia ditepati. Jika tidak kita akan kecewa. Bila ada dakyah- dakyah dari parti lain yang meresap masuk, apa yang akan terjadi ?" jelas Ong.

Ong berkata kaum Cina beralih kepada pembangkang pada 2008 semata- mata kerana mahu melihat sistem pentadbiran, politik dan segala- galanya atas landasan yang betul.  

Beliau yakin Perdana Menteri Datuk Seri Najib Razak mampu meraih semula sokongan itu jika semua segmen dalam kerajaan dan Barisan Nasional memberikan sokongan padu kepada program-program transformasi yang dibawa oleh beliau.

 

7 sex experiences you must try

RealBuzzRealBuzz – Wed 22 Feb, 2012 5:39 PM IST

Make-up sex

For some reason make-up sex is amazing. You’re angry, you’re fired up and you’re passionate – then it’s all forgotten and you’re jumping under the covers. Make-up sex is great because when you fight your testosterone levels rise, which makes the sex much more aggressive and intense. To make the most of this post-argument loving pull at each other’s hair and breathe heavily. Ladies, if you’ve got nails run them down your guy’s backs. Guys, you can gently bite your girl’s necks. Make sure you do these things softly first and build the aggression up though.

The stare game

Eye-locked lovers may make you want to barf, but bear with us guys – staring into each other’s eyes during sex can make your orgasms more powerful. Try to hold each other’s gaze for at least a minute, especially during the height of sex. This will make your orgasms more intense and you’ll feel intensely close to the other person. If you prefer rear entry positions then you can always put a mirror in the room and stare into one other’s eyes using the reflection. Ideally though, try to stick with face-to-face contact at least some of the time. 

7 sex experiences you must try

Food sex

If you’re a neat freak you may find food sex hard work. Your sheets will get messy, you’ll have food in your hair and you may be finding evidence of your night of passion for a few weeks after. The point is though that you loosen up and have fun. Food is very sensuous and it is often described using sexual words. Get creative with your choices – use foods with different textures, different shapes and different smells. Cream works particularly well, but you may end up throwing out your bed linen because the smell is hard to disguise.

Closet sex

Having sex in a tight space is novel, kinky and can be very, very hot. If you can handle the slightly claustrophobic environment and focus on the new angles you are forced to twist and curl into, then you’ll soon be turned on in a totally new way. The lack of space in a closet will mean that you have to try out new positions and the darkness and novelty of the situation will get you both really excited. Just remove anything of any value beforehand as it’s not an easy space to maneuver around in and accidents may happen.

Morning sex

Want to get your day started in the best possible way? Then have sex before breakfast. Although mornings may not be your favourite time to get foxy, those love-struck couples who have sex first thing feel more upbeat and benefit from a stronger immune system. Also your sex will be better.  Most guys feel more turned on in the mornings because their testosterone levels are at their highest at night. You will also be well rested and will therefore have sex for longer and try out some more energetic positions.

Machine sex

We all know that a vibrator is a girl’s best friend, but vibrations are good for guys too. To turn the heat up in your love life pay a visit to your washing machine or tumble dryer. To begin, turn the machine on. Then the girl should bend over at a right angle over the machine, with her stomach and upper body lying flat over the top of the appliance. The guy then takes her from behind and kneels into the machine. The vibrations will rock through you both, bringing blood to those all important areas and making them much more sensitive.

Alfresco sex

There is a reason that whilst you read this 84,000 people are having sex outside; it’s incredible. You feel bad and so your adrenaline levels rise, which makes the sex frantic, frisky and fun. Remember though that although going alfresco can be spontaneous, it often isn’t as easy as it seems in the movies. Prepare a little and pack some useful props: a blanket, some tissues and a brush. Be careful too, you can get in trouble if you get caught so maybe opt for a safer option and get it on in your garden or balcony. Read more on realbuzz.com...